Board of Directors for Mega-Church Corp Force Jesus Christ to Step Down as Head of Their Organization

Lake Forest, CA - The Board of Directors for Mega-Church Corp announced today that they were forcing the resignation of Jesus Christ as the head of their organization.  The reasons cited for Jesus’ abrupt departure from Mega-Church Corp included Jesus’ increasing lack of understanding of the unique needs of 21st Century consumers as well as marketing data that clearly showed that Jesus’ old school message of 
“repentance and the forgiveness of sins in His name” was just not resonating with today’s tech savvy religious customers.

Rick Warren, Chairman of the Board, for Mega-Church Corp in an email sent to the media said, “This was a tough decision to have to make.  Jesus has been the head of our organization since its inception.  But, Jesus’ insistence on sound doctrine and a core message that conjures up visions of sin, hell, God’s wrath and Jesus’ scandalous bloody death on the cross between two common thieves just isn’t relevant anymore.”  Said Warren, “Despite our insistence at previous board meetings that Jesus get his head out of the First Century and update His messaging to meet the felt needs of today’s religious seekers, Jesus stubbornly refused to take our council and sage business advice.  Ultimately, we had to think about the future of our organization and it was clear that we just wouldn’t meet our growth targets if we continued to use a 2000 year old message.”

Bill Hybels, Senior Member of the Board of Directors for Mega-Church Corp, commenting on Jesus’ forced resignation said, “This decision was long overdue.  Truth be told, we don’t need Jesus to grow Mega Church Corp.  Now that Jesus is no longer at the helm we expect our growth to sky rocket.

Joel Osteen, Junior Board Member for Mega-Church Corp, sounded relieved.  Said Osteen, “With Jesus out of the way, we can finally give religious consumers exactly what they want to hear.”

Wall Street received the news of Jesus’ forced resignation favorably, and Mega Church Corp’s stock price shot up nearly $7 a share ($6.66) in late afternoon trading.

Comments

[Joshua Skogerboe]

This makes me sad. I sure wish your creative energy was spent building up the Church, lifting high the name of Christ, and speaking the truth in love rather than tearing down other members of Christ's Body.

You may think these men - and thousands more like them - are actually playing for the wrong team. I believe you think you are motivated by a passion for God and preserving His truth. But God uses many differnt methods to reach many different people. And He gets the credit for every soul saved, anyway - in your church, or in Warren's, or in Hybels. I wish there was deeper passion for unity in the Church, and more love for each other on display here. What do you make of Jesus' prayer that his believers would be ONE in John 17? Don't miss the logs for the specks.

[Bud]

No offence, but if "God uses many different methods to reach many different people," why is Chris's method even an issue?

Also, what good is 'Christian Unity,' as it is executed today in the modern church, when it allows a place for false doctrine? 'Unity' that plays down specifically false doctrines is not unity at all.
bud

[Chris Rosebrough]

Joshua,

For the sake of conversation, why don't you go ahead and list FROM THE SCRIPTURES all the different methods that God uses to regenerate lost sinners.

[Ted Wilder]

So the stock rose to $6.66 a share. That's still a lot lower than the initial offering of 30 pieces of silver

[Don]

Well Chris,
If you read the bible (which I don't suggest you do, or you will be able to discern just how wrong I am) you will see that God often uses the message of "your best life now" to regenerate people (Olsteen 3:16). Some people are justified by hearing how they need to be "driven by a purpose" (as read in The gospel according to Warren), and others are converted by just "naming it and claiming it" (too many references to list here).
Can't you see Chris how you are just being divisive when you make fun of false teaching? Sort of like Elijah when he mocked the prophets of Baal! (1 Kings 18:27)

[ironete]

I love Don's comment. Very funny

[kamatu]

That's it Chris. Don has you dead to rights, time to surrender....

[Sarah]

Mat 24:24 For false christs and false prophets will rise up. And they will give great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the elect

2Pe 2:1 But false prophets were also among the people, as also false teachers will be among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, and denying the Master who has bought them, bringing swift destruction on themselves.

[Clint Harper]

Joshua,
The only METHOD that God uses to save is Jesus. For people who are truly saved Jesus said to carry your cross and if you are a disciple you will be hated by all men. If you are loved by everyone are you really a disciple? The Bible says you are not. So while pastors are writing books about "Your Best Life Now", Jesus wrote a book about "Dying To Self". Yes, a lot of these preachers ARE playing for the wrong team. What part of "in the last days the very elect will be deceived" do you not understand? That's whats happening NOW in a lot of churches...Don't be deceived...

[Barbara]

Rick Warren and Bill Hybels promote false theology, contemplative spirituality, and endorse as well as hire people who are emersed in New Age beliefs which includes selling their books. This is confusing the sheep. Jesus said not to be deceived. These men are deceiving the sheep and leading them astray. Be a Berean (Acts 17:11) and don't be deceived!

[Distant Observer]

Chris dude….you clearly have too much time on your hands (more so it seems since you moved to Indiana). This is obviously your fulfillment of Eph 5:15 “making the best use of the time” (from your favorite ESV)

If it wasn’t for the Osteens and the Warrens your life would be so meaningless. Find a new hobby. They are false teachers….WE GET IT…move on! Is monotony one of your passions in life?

No doubt you’ll have some NT scriptures up your sleeve to justify creative sarcasm (oh please share your flair for exegetical gymnastics).

‘Creative Sarcasm’ = ‘edification’ for theological narcissists (Source: Crosebroughpedia)

If you wanna spit this comment out is because you had a sip of your own medicine.

[Chris]

Please let me know where you get this information. Christians have a habit of making unsubstantiated remarks, and their followers believe any nonsense they dish up.

[Jacobus L du Plessis]

This thing about JC forced to resign from the board of the mega church corp force of which Rick Warren is a member - is this a real thing or a hoax?

[thome]

"Board of Directors for Mega-Church Corp Force Jesus Christ to Step Down as Head of Their Organization" Where / how can this be verified?

[Letitia Ludick]

This article about Jesus Christ forced to resign from the board of the mega church corp force of which Rick Warren is a member - is this a real thing or a hoax?

[Nicki]

Hi Chris

While sharing your obvious concerns with Warren, Hybels & Osteen I need to know from you if these are true quotes from these men or is this an article with information generated that represents the spirit of what they are about and how they function. I need this from you as I live in South Africa and am a pastor and this inofrmation is doing the rounds among my members and further abroad. While we will openly expose errors in this camp when necessary we want to be careful to qoute these guys based on words put into their mouths. Please help and forgive my English as it is not my first language.

[mike Oppenheimer]

your article posted -- Board of Directors for Mega-Church Corp Force Jesus Christ to Step Down as Head of Their Organization

Has expressed exactly what is taking place; some may be confused as to whether this really occurred because it is not beyond possibility. BTW this would look good in a frame on the wall to remind us as to how far the church has "progressed" along with the rest of the liberals.

[Bill McClead]

Keep up the good work Chris. Rick Warren and Joel Osteen only care about filling the pews.

[Hein Lottering]

I want to see the actual whole press release. Where did it come from? who was it sent to? Where is it?

[TORAH BELIEVER]

TO THE MEMBERS OF THE MEGA GROUP CHURCH.
NO WONDER THE DIVINE WORD OF OUR ABBA FATHER WARNS US ABOUT THE FALLING AWAY OF THE CHURCH. MAYBE THERE IS STILL TIME FOR THE TRUE BELIEVER IN YAHWEH TO MOVE AWAY FROM ALL THAT IS NOT PURE AND ACCEPTABLE IN HIS EYES AND AS INSTRUCTED IN HIS TORAH.
I DO PRAY THAT YOU WILL COME TO YOUR SENSES AND NOT EXPERIENCE THE WRATH OF OUR FATHER. MAY HE SOON SHOW YOU WHAT HIS LOVE IS ALL ABOUT.
THE WORD TELLS US THAT HE WAS, IS STILL AND WILL EVER BE, THE SAME.
PLEASE DO NOT LEAD MEN ASTRAY...INTO DARKNESS AND DESPAIR...

[suzanne]

I go to Willow Creek and have never, ever, ever heard one single thing at a church service that is not Scriptural. Jesus is still the one and only head of the church.

[Mike]

Do you really think it's beneficial to the reputation of The Body that you publicly dismiss someone else's ministry? Maybe you should call up Joel Osteen and discuss this with him instead of spewing deadly poison by cursing people who are made in the likeness of God (James 3.9). Impersonal dissent is a tool of Satan.

[John Whittle.]

There is a very deep concern here from all the contributors. Some believe it to be a possible hoax, if this is so, it should be removed from 'A Little leaven' But don't forget folks, the bible tells us to test every spirit...including this one. Satan is the accuser, he comes as a roaring lion to devour, to kill, steal, and destroy. He is the father of lies, and it is possible that this is a smear campaign against Rick Warren and the Mega-Church. But what if it's not a hoax? We as Christians have every God-given right to discern, to reprove and rebuke. There are many warnings about heretics, and they are out there somewhere, they do exist, and with the gift of discerning, we should be able to tell who and where those heretics are. The authority of the bible is our only guide, and it's our God-given duty to reprove and rebuke the works of darkness. (Ephesions 5: 11). Apostle Paul warned if anyone teach any other gospel which is not from Christ, they are cursed. If it's true that Christ has been dismissed from Mega-Church, then the Board of Directors are in serious error and leading souls to hell. It's no good saying 'Oh we mustn't judge' or 'Look at the speck' quoting those scriptures do not get to the bottom of the issue in hand. It must be addressed according to the authority of scripture and not wishy washy wishful thinking by miss-quoting scriptures out of context. That's not on. A Christ-less Church is a Satanic one. May we consider the implications here and respond with love, rather than nit-picking. God bless.

[gerhard]

So it's an orginization now...time for the wip and cleansing. This must be lucrative...so money rules...

[Leon]

Here's more on Osteen being false:
http://www.av1611.org/osteen.html
http://www.forgottenword.org/osteen.html
http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Wolves/osteen-heretic.htm
So - false teachers must be EXPOSED not pampered... Thanks Deborah who exposes them and referred to this site at http://www.discerningtheworld.com/2009/11/19/jesus-christ-to-step-down/#more-6911

This 'Jesus Christ to Step Down' thing is not so far-fetched - It happened when He was here on earth 2000 years ago! The Pharisees had their own ‘system’, which did not include God or His will.